Photo by Joyce Dutka

David Fried

Plants come in all sizes and shapes. They are even more diverse than people. My mom travelled the world and sent back photos of interesting trees and interesting people. She had one-woman shows of her framed photos of people in China, Ecuador, Egypt, Norway, and lots of places in between.

Tonight, we were watching an episode of “Northern Exposure,” a TV show from the early 90s. Maurice the astronaut tells Chris he wishes his son was white and not Korean. Chris reminds him that this is a cultural thing. He learned it so he can unlearn it. Maurice finds things to love in his son, such as his ability to drink strong whiskey and his strength in arm wrestling. Maurice begins to actually connect to his son with these things he can relate to. It is so good to see and so healing for both of them.

I used to like only to grow plants that produced something edible. Maybe because I started out as a hiker who foraged for a lot of my food on trails. I looked to fruit trees, berry bushes, nut trees and perennial vegetables as the only ones worth growing because they fed me. In the last few years, I have realized that I love growing flowering plants, too. There is great satisfaction in planting a bush or annual that will do its best to grow and then pour out its orange or yellow blossoms. The hummingbirds come, and I visit them daily on my walks. I do not have to harvest anything from them to feel their usefulness in my life. They make my life better just being there. Witch hazel with yellow confetti flowers in the fall, orange Mexican sunflowers in the summer and soft silver pussy willows in the earliest spring are plants that I recently have learned to love.

At sunset tonight about a hundred people gathered on the statehouse lawn to light the menorah. There were TV cameras for this unusual gathering of a people who are few in number but gathered here to celebrate their ancient holiday. Our Vermont Governor Phil Scott spoke to the crowd in the 15-degree weather. He looked out at all of us and said, “There is so much more that we have in common than what separates us.”

As plant growers and as people we are part of humankind, and we need to be both- human and kind. Can we look at plants and at people and see the good qualities and something we have in common with each other? Don’t we all want a small patch of earth to live on and to be warm and raise our children or seedlings there? Are we able to help each other by giving water or a kind word? If it rains or snows, are we resilient because we are here for each other? A vine grows up between neighbor’s properties and makes flowers on both sides of the fence.

A lot of people are appreciating each other’s holidays by learning a little about them and honoring the differences in practice and belief. Vermont is becoming a home for many from faraway lands. Our kids go to school together and new games are being played in the playgrounds. This year I have new friends from the Ukraine, the Congo and from Jamaica.

Seeds blow in on the wind from across the ocean and take root in our backyards. Some will flower, some will fruit, all will add to the landscape their unique lightness of being. They are all part of this large universe teeming with life and new discoveries.

My mom’s second husband, Sol, said to me near the end of his storied life, “We have to find the commonalities between people.” When I hear the governor say it again tonight, I smile. We have so much more in common with each other than we have differences. This thought gives me hope and will keep me a lot warmer this winter. I will care for the rose apple tree and the lemon tree in my dining room, surrounded by potted herbs. I will notice people in my town who look different from my family, and I will learn some things about them. I will talk to them and hear their stories. I will discover that all of our stories are unfolding as we walk the earth together.